Hey, did ya’ll hear? It’s Thanksgiving this week.

We’ve been getting asked approximately hourly what restaurants are going to be open on Thanksgiving Day. So, whether you’re here in Fort Smith with no family gathering, wouldn’t trust your loved ones with your family’s cooking, are some sort of international super spy who doesn’t celebrate these American holidays but likes to eat out, plan to eat five separate Thanksgiving meals, or if you just like to show your patriotism by spending money in our area restaurants, here’s where you can go. Wherever you go on Thanksgiving, know that Fort Smith Eats is thankful for you and for the many great restaurants we share in this area.

Note: If you know of other restaurants serving any meal on Thanksgiving, or any other corrections/additions we should make, let us know and we’ll try to keep this list updated. We’re sure we’re missing some.

Fort Smith

Benson’s Grill - 2515 Rogers Ave. 479/782-8181. Open 24 hours.

Furr’s Fresh Buffet – 5707 Rogers Ave. 479/478-0398. Open 10:30 -6.

Golden Corral - 1801 S. Waldron Rd.  479-484-1040. Open from 10 -4.

Hong Kong Chinese Restaurant - 500 N. Greenwood Ave. 479/783-7824. Open 12-7.

IHOP – 7809 Rogers Ave. 479/452-0501. Open 24 hours.

Lewis’ Family Restaurant - 5901 Hwy. 71 South. 479/646-4309. Serving breakfast and lunch from 6-3.

Lucy’s Diner – 4605 Towson Ave. 479/646-1001. Open 24 hours.

McDonalds - All locations in Fort Smith? Drive-thru open till 11 a.m.

Pizza Hut – All locations in Fort Smith? 479/783-4000. Opens at 4 p.m.

Village Inn - 7620 Rogers Ave. 479/452-7007. Open 6 a.m. – midnight.

Van Buren

Donald’s Donuts – 2211 Fayetteville Rd. 479/471-6777. Open for breakfast.

Alma

Cracker Barrel - 431 Hwy 71 No. & I-40, Exit 13. 479/623-0767. Open all day.

Muldrow

Broadway Joe’s Cafe - 320 W. Shawntel Smith Blvd. 918/427-7447. Reportedly serving free lunch to anyone on Thanksgiving Day. Donations accepted and will go to Muldrow charities.

Without further ado, the three winners of our Project 3/Whatever contest are:

1. Goodson’s
   (counting Cornerstone & Towson locations together since most people didn’t specify which one)
2. R. Landry’s Cajun Cafe
3. Bravo Italian

We’re calling these our “Fort Smith Eats Readers’ Local Favorites” since that’s what this was really. These top three restaurants will be getting top-shelf, full-color, fancy-shmancy framable-if-you-print-them-off-our-blog shining gold-star reviews from ours truly. (ooooh, ahhhh…) After all, your favorite restaurants deserve no less. We’ll also be selecting 3 other restaurants of our choice to receive the same treatment. Yep. After months of not reviewing squat, we’re giving you 6 reviews in the coming weeks.

And you thought Christmas was exciting.

Coming in right on the vote-getting heels of these three fine restaurants were:

4. George’s
5. Rolando’s
6. Cara’s at Brunwick Place (tie)
Pho Vietnam (tie)

We had a total of close to 250 votes, and 61 restaurants nominated here, on Facebook, Twitter, even email. And the vast majority had multiple nominations. Even with 61 nominees we can think of some yumtational places that got looked over. That’s not even counting the chains, which were not eligible for this vote. That’s how good Fort Smith cookin’ is ya’ll.

Here’s the full list of nominees in alphabetical order. We’ve linked to our previous reviews of the ones we’ve written about before. Read ‘em and drool.

• 21 West End
• Bangkok Cafe
• Basil Thai
• Benson’s Grill
• Blaze’n Burrito
• Bob & Ellie’s
• Boomarang Diner
• Brannon’s
• Bravo Italian – WINNER
• C&C Catfish (Van Buren)
• Calico County
• Cara’s at Brunwick Place
• Catfish Cove
• Delicias Michoacanas Ice Cream Factory
• Diamondhead #2
• Doe’s Eat Place
• Ed Walker’s
• El Rodeo
• El Super Taco
• El Torito’s
• El Zarape
• Emmy’s German Restaurant
• Frank’s Italian (Van Buren)
• Fried Rice
• George’s
• Goodson’s - WINNER
• Green Papaya
• Hamburger Barn
• Hollywood Stars Pizza
• Hong Kong Chinese
• Jenny Lind Cafe (Jenny Lind)
• Joe’s Pizza & Pasta
• Juan’s Mexican
• La Huerta
• Las Lagos
• Lewis’ Family Restaurant
• Lin’s Garden (or whatever it’s called now) (Greenwood)
• Lin’s Garden (Fort Smith)
• Lucy’s Diner
• Mi Casita
• Papa’s Pizza
• Pattaya Thai
• Pho Hoang
• Pho King
• Pho Vietnam
• Pink Flamingo
• Pizza Parlor
• Pizza Warehouse
• R. Landry’s Cajun Cafe – WINNER
• Re-Pete’s
• Red Barn Steakhouse
• Rib Room & Beergarden
• Rib Eye Steakhouse
• Rolando’s
• Sacred Grounds
• Shogun
• Silk Road Grill
• Sister’s Bistro
• Taipei Chinese
• Tran’s
• Whole Hog Cafe

Remember: While we scrapped any requirement from this 3/50 Project that you spend $50 in each of these places, we’re hoping you’ll make plans to eat at the places you voted for or explore some of these others you might not have tried. Our idea behind this was that supporting locally operated homegrown restaurants has a bigger impact on our local economy than eating at the chains does. Now, don’t get us wrong. We  at Fort Smith Eats International Headquarters still eat at the chains. A lot. We love us some Cheddar’s and don’t even get us started on Chick-Fil-A. But for every time we eat at one of those, we try to spend at least as much at a Fort Smith Mom & Pop. And look at that delicious list up there–it’s not like it’s a hardship.

Eat local. Eat well. Eat often.

There ya go. Fort Smith Eats in a nutshell. Congrats to the winners and to EVERYONE who voted! Now go forth and EAT.

Last year, we tweeted up a storm from the Taste of Fort Smith event, but we thought we might do a quick review and get some of you fellow foodies out there in time for some evening grub tonight.

Lots of restaurants are participating, and we were pleasantly surprised to find that includes plenty of establishments from outside Fort Smith. Cedarville and Lavaca, for instance, were both represented well at the Taste of Fort Smith. So, yes, that makes it even more awesome.

Two things disappointed us slightly:

One, at the lunchtime event were 3 or 4 open booths, with signage from restaurants, that were empty. That indicates they’ll be there tonight — yay! — but left us disappointed we couldn’t get a quick taste of, say, The Dog Shack or Blaze’n Burrito or Pho King. And Silk Road Grill? You’re such a tease.

See that apple slice? Covered with caramel and pecans? Harps calls it “Apple Nachos.” We call it “autumn yum.” (That’s Whole Hog potato salad in the background)

Two, lunch was heavy on desserts. Now, we still got our fill of barbecue, chicken, crackers & cheese, fried tomatoes, sandwiches, pizza, Thai noodles, etc. Believe us, we got plenty to eat. And, some places are dessert-only joints: Confectionately Yours, Sweets Boutique. But (and we’re talking to you, Panera and Furr’s), why would a full-variety restaurant only bring their dessert offerings? (Kudos to you, Cara’s at Brunwick Place and Harps, for serving both savory AND sweet fare.)

Onto the food.

From top, clockwise, Zaxby’s chicken fingers/sauces; Cara’s fried green tomato; Gregory’s butterfinger pie; Steffy’s pizza

We love the Taste event because, well, you know we like to eat, but also we like to try new things. This gives us a way to do so quickly & efficiently (and belly-full-y. Seriously, what we won’t do for you guys!). We get to try new dishes AND eat some of our standard faves?!? A win-win for sure.

We were pleased as a pig to find a BBQ joint that was new to us: Imajerk BBQ, out of Cedarville! They promised us slow-cooked, smoky pork flavor, and they delivered. We wanted more. And in full-grown sizes. Cedarville, you’re gonna be getting a visit from us before too long.

Whole Hog BBQ sandwich!

We also sampled some artisan cheeses from the Harps booth, creamy tomato and pumpkin bisques from Cara’s along with the T-D-F fried green tomatoes, Chili’s queso dip, Steffy’s Pizza (of Lavaca. Good stuff.), Jim’s Razorback pasta, Whole Hog BBQ sandwich and potato salad (yum. Creamy!). Don’t skip the multigrain roll with cold Irish butter at the Harps’ booth. You’ll never go back to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (we can) again.

Drinks are plentiful, too: beer & wine for you imbibers, and plenty of teas, coffees, water, sodas, juice drinks, too. Some years they’ve been a little short on drinks, but no one should go thirsty tonight.

We recommend you go. And — bonus — the proceeds support a good cause.

Anywho, we said we’d do something and then we didn’t. First time for everything, right?

Now we want to make amends.

We’re far from official spokespeople for this 3/50 project, but the way we understand it, the general idea is this:

• Pick 3 locally owned, independent businesses you appreciate and would hate to see go out of business.
• Vow to go out of your way to spend $50 at these local places to show your appreciation of them.
• If enough people did this, it would save the world. Or our local economy. Something like that. They give numbers and statistics you are free to look up if you need convincing this is a good thing. All we care about is saving the world. That would be way cool, with or without statistics.

They’re a little vague on the specifics of whether it’s $50 spent at each place or what. Also, we were surprised to see that apparently this is supposed to be $50 a month. Obviously, this concept was come up with before the Great Recession That Ate All Fun (And Dining-Out Budgets) came along.

We’re not really what you’d call sticklers for rules so we’re going to make up our own project.

Here’s what we’ll do:

• You pick your favorite 3 locally owned restaurants  (No offense, shops, but food’s our thang) that you’d HATE HATE HATE to see go out of business. We’re talking true Mom & Pops, not Red Lobster being run by a guy you know. We’re talking all-local dollars that don’t get sent to a corporate headquarters somewhere.
• Tell us which 3 you are picking, either here on our lonesome little blog or on our much more popular Facebook page. Or even tweet @ us. By voting, you’re vowing to go spend some money at these three places when you can, or tell others about them, something to spread the love and increase their business between now and the end of 2010. We’re not telling you how much to spend because we don’t want your spouses, parents and/or accountants coming over and hitting us with blunt objects (No “I’m sorry we had the electricity turned off honey but I PROMISED Fort Smith Eats we’d eat at Doe’s all month!”). You can only nominate three. Though of course you can spread your wealth amongst them all. And they don’t actually have to be in danger of going out of business anytime soon. Just tell us what 3 you love most.

Whichever 3 places get the most votes—we’ll give you till Halloween (that’s Oct. 31, natch) to vote—we’ll write up in our bestest ever reviews. Seriously, they’ll be golden.

We’re going to pick 3, too. So you get 6 reviews for the price of 3! With no shipping and handling! That’s like 8 years of writing for us, but we’ll actually vow to have all these posted by the end of the year. Because we are local food superheroes (yes, we were in fact told this by someone in a position of authority so it must be true) and together we will save the world!!!!!!!!!

Our brilliant local restaurants are why we got into this food-reviewing racket. We want everyone to know how much good eatin’ there really is in and around this town. But the first order of business is keeping it!

So, Citizens of Fort Smith: What places shall we save? Make your case.

***We have had a zillion good intentions on writing more over the past few months. But, apparently, “time” in the world of Fort Smith Eats works like that deepest level of slo-mo dreaming in that Inception movie, you know with the van that takes an hour to fall off the bridge? We swear we JUST posted that Geno’s pepperoni sandwich review a moment ago…

We figured it’s the kids and the convenience. Cheap pizza, served by the oversized slice, on styrofoam plates in a place you don’t have to clean — that’s a family outing right there. No flavor required. And they have drive-thrus. Who doesn’t love eating a big slice of bland pizza while driving, talking on the phone and texting? Gimmee a slice of Supreme and a large Diet Coke, hold the pizza artistry please.

Every so often, though, we go back and try it again. Surely if there are this many locations of a local favorite, it’s got to be good, right? On a recent drive-thru visit when we were running late and super hungry and Geno’s was right next door, we decided to try the pepperoni sub. We’d tried the ham and cheese many moons ago, but the pepperoni sandwich was probably the one menu item we’d not yet sampled.

Eureka! (That’s a general exclamation of excitement, not a reference to Eureka Pizza, another local favorite). The aroma of this paper-wrapped meal hit us first. We’ve never been impressed with the pepperoni pizza at Geno’s. Their pepperoni slices are, we think, more or less on par with the pizza at Sbarro. Which is, by the way, another insanely popular chain of bland mall pizza by the slice that we have no idea why people frequent, except maybe that it’s kind to support the dyslexic (we’re convinced it’s supposed to be Orrabs, not Sbarro, since building a marketing plan for a national restaurant that starts with “Sb” is not something most bank loan officers would recommend).

This thing, however, smelled great even in the unwrapping.

The pimply-faced boy at the drive-thru had handed us our very first, bona fide, great experience at Geno’s. We wanted to kiss him for this, but that would have freaked out everyone involved.

Here’s what we found waiting for us when we un-swaddled this lovely, still steaming creation:

This may be a submarine sandwich, but when they cut them like this, we have Titanic flashbacks. Soon as the ship broke clean in half we knew Kate & Leo weren’t going to end up chasing each other around the old folks’ center begging for the other’s pudding. Just look at it. This sub will never float now! Head for the lettuce rafts, women and children first! Luckily, we have better things to do with this meal than play Doomed Sandwich Boats. It’s smelling too tasty.

The hoagie was fresh, soft and chewy with a crisp-crumbly crust. Just right. Inside we discovered layers of pepperoni, toasted mozzarella, a blast of rich tomato flavor, and lettuce that was cool and crunchy without even a hint of wilt about it.

Oh, unexpectedly good drive-thru food, how we cherish thee. Fresh bread sporting a gooey warm pepperoni and cheese center, with a crunch of lettuce and strong tomato flavor. Why can’t they make the pizzas taste this good?

We tried to savor it, really we did. Instead, we think we might have gobbled it down, possibly whole. Not the most attractive sight, but if you’re getting your kicks ogling us eating drive-thru sandwiches in the car, you live a more inscrutably boring life than we thought possible.

Plus, this was cheap and came with a very fine serving of Ruffles in a shiny primary-colored bag. Our Coke was similarly refreshing, just like the ads promised. And it was all for something like $5. Maybe not even.

So there you have it folks. Eat at Geno’s. Eat at Geno’s often. But unless you can convince us otherwise, stick with this sandwich.

Phoenix Drive-In is that colorful, Sonic-like place next to Jerry Neel’s BBQ. The one you’ve likely been wondering about.

Phoenix Drive-In’s humble abode. Don’t let the small building fool ya.

Our first meal experience at the Phoenix was the fried shrimp basket — and we knew even before tasting it that we’d come back again. It was fresh, hot, delicious. The basket included lots and lots of shrimp and (this is how Phoenix assured our return) — CRINKLE-CUT FRIES!! You know those are always going to put us in our happy, we-are-Fort-Smith-Eats-and-we-rock place.

Crinkle-cut fries: the sure way to Fort Smith Eats’s heart. And – with seasoned salt! It’s the little ordinary joys.

Phoenix Drive-In’s Shrimp Basket. Not jumbo shrimp, not coconut-breaded or beer-battered or anything fancy like that. Just hot breaded shrimp, crinkle-cut fries-of-delight, and Texas toast. Yumbalaya.

Since that first we-found-crinkle-cut-fries trip, we’ve sampled several other “main dish”-type items. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Foot-long chili-cheese coney dogs. Frito chili pies. Our fave of those is the simple grilled cheese sandwich.

Back to basics. Some days the only cure is a hot and melty grilled cheese sandwich in a simple paper wrapper.

Sometimes, we harken back to ye ole days of childhood, and we want a grilled cheese sandwich like Mama or a drive-in makes. The grilled cheese at Phoenix doesn’t disappoint. It’s made with thick slices of Texas toast, plenty of butter, and melty American cheese, grilled up right fine. Hot. Melty. Crunchy. Buttery. $1.39 of yum. Sometimes simplicity is the best food.

The Extra-Long Cheese Coney looks even Extra-Longer when you meet it at eye level.

We’re not sure whether to characterize Buffalo Chicken Bites as main-course or side-dish, but whatever they are, they’re interesting. They’re good, yes indeedy, but we couldn’t help but continue to marvel over the whole concept as we ate them.

Phoenix’s Buffalo Chicken Bites are perfectly round balls of chicken, cream cheese, bleu-cheese and jalapenos, fried. They are very uniform in their size and shape — like fried chicken golf balls, we thought — and obviously are some mass-produced frozen item. But the flavor is interesting. Chicken, mainly, with hints of heat from the jalapeno and creaminess of the cheeses. Not health food, natch, but a neato snacky vittle. They’d make good Game Day snackage.

Chicken Poppers: Chicken. Cheese. Breading. Jalapenos. That’s four food groups ya’ll. Mr. Nutrition from our 3rd grade film strips would be proud. Bonus side of tater tots means an extra helping of veggies. Should probably still take your Flintstones vitamins, just to be safe.

The Phoenix frito chili pie was fine, but not spectacular. The fritos-chili-cheese ratio is good (very important), and the chili is tasty enough, though a little greasy. But your tastebuds really would prefer a trip into frito-chili-pie-dom that takes you instead to Ed Walker’s or Yellow Umbrella or George’s.

A frito pie the high school Band Boosters could be proud of.

Onto some side items. If you aren’t in love with crinkle-cut fries like we are, despair not. Phoenix Drive-In provides your deep-fried Southern palate with plenty of other fried side items to pair with your burger. Yeah, we’re getting to the burgers and (spoiler alert) you won’t want to miss them — don’t turn that dial! They’ve got regular (crispy-cut, seasoned) fries, gravy fries, bacon ranch fries, battered green chili fries, tots, onion rings, queso cheese stix, spinach cheese stix (we haven’t tried these yet, but we’re intrigued), fried pickles, and who knows what else. Every time we look at their crazy menu we find new things. Burritos! Banana splits! Nachos! Fish hoagies!

Wanna guess the first side we tried? If you’ve paid the slightest attention to our Facebook page, you probably already guessed there was no way we could pass up fried pickles. We love a restaurant that offers fried pickles because, heck, we just love fried pickles. Phoenix’s pickles are good. They’ll pacify your craving right well.

It’s not that this picture is out of focus. It’s that our eyes (and apparently camera) completely glaze over when we get near fried pickles.

Fried pickles 101. They generally come in 2 varieties: pickles spears or pickle slices. Both varieties are then dipped in a batter and deep-fried. Phoenix’s are of the slices variety, which we prefer over spears, and the batter is good. Has a little spice to it. The one minor complaint we might have is these are pretty THICK pickle slices. That surprised us at first — but we still finished off the order and have ordered them again. You should do the same.

The fried green beans are another addiction. We don’t remember ever hearing of fried green beans before TGI Friday’s started offering them a few years ago, but if Mr. or Ms. Fried-Green-Bean Inventor is reading this, we want to offer our thanks and a hearty kudos to you.

We like green beans — especially dun up southern-gramma-style in bacon grease with onions and cooked until they’re soft — but frying them and dipping them in ranch dressing?!?!?!?! That equals some serious haute cuisine in the Fort Smith Eats lexicon of yumness. And Phoenix’s are really good. So good that we’ve eaten them, oh, 6 times in the past two months. For real, ya’ll. We could nosh on fried green beans dipped in ranch all the live-long day.

TGI Fry-Day. Phoenix Drive-In’s Battered Green Bean Fries should be a controlled substance. Because when it comes to them, we have none.

Mini-rant: Phoenix is basically drive-in fast food, so we don’t much care how things are packaged so long as fries aren’t spilled all in the bag and nothing gets smashed. But the little square styrofoam containers — so convenient in some uses — lead to a little soggyness with a few of the battered-and-deep-fried items. Like the fried pickles. And that may be because the pickles ARE so thick and the batter sticks to them so well, but we found that the pickles on the bottom, the ones against the styrofoam, are a little soggy by the time we get to ‘em. A paper basket may be in order for a few of the menu items. End of mini-rant.

Major rave: The Phoenix Burger. Let us first list the things it is not: Small. Greasy. Flavorless. Overthought. Ordinary.

Meet the Phoenix Burger. She’s quickly becoming one of our favorite burgers in The Fort.

This beauty is in the center of the menu for a reason. This burger, in fact, may be Phoenix Drive-In’s raison d’etre. Heck, it may be ours. The best part of the burger? The bun. Yes, the bun. We don’t know where they get their buns — we’re guessing the Magic Bun Angel —but we were in love before our teeth even reached the meat. The menu tells us it’s a sourdough bun, but this is the sweetest sourdough we’ve ever tasted. Soft and fresh, thick and chewy without being tough, and full of a remarkable sweet flavor we could not get enough of.  The 1/3-pound all-beef patty was completely satisfactory and strangely un-greasy but not dry. The green leaf lettuce and tomato were perky as they look in a farmer’s market and the grilled onions — yes, grilled — were tender and savory-sweet. Mustard and a couple of pickle slices completed the burger. Not too fancy, not too plain.

We’re telling you. It’s very, very good. A burger joy.

We wish we could say the same about the apple pie. It was our only true disappointment at Phoenix.

We love pie. Almost every pie. We wanted to love Phoenix’s. Let it be said that the apple filling was perfectly serviceable once we picked it out of the sodden, stale crust-lumps, though our appetite was mostly gone by bite #3. Maybe this isn’t their usual pie; surely it’s usually better than this one. This was a pie that seemed like perhaps it’d been forgotten and left in the church kitchen after a potluck. You know, the pie that no one at the potluck feels tempted to eat and so it gets left there in a corner because someone thought the church secretary would take it to the pastor or the Sunday school class would eat it or maybe the janitor might like a slice since he works so hard and yet it just sits there for days on end until someone finally gets peckish enough to give it a trial bite or two before dumping it in the trash and settling for a Diet Coke to wash away the taste.

It was that kind of pie and it made us sad.

Sad pie.

It’s a good thing we loved the burger and the crinkle-cut fries and the fried green beans and everything else we’ve tried on the wacky Phoenix Drive-In menu so much. Because sad pie might otherwise be enough to keep us away for good. But no worries, Phoenix Drive-In, we’ll keep coming back. Next time we’ll just end with the banana split. Or maybe some battered green chili fries, whatever the heck those are.

How about ya’ll? Find any great discoveries on the Phoenix Drive-In menu? Anything you’re planning to try? Your friendly neighborhood anonymous Fort Smith food blog wants to know.

The renovated space in Emmy’s new locale, under the new ownership (mostly the same recipes as the original locale) is warm and inviting, classy without being stuffy. Very nice wood touches and furnishings throughout.

First things first. We never ate at the old Emmy’s. For whatever reason, it just never happened. Mainly, we were not yet Fort Smith Eats and were still able to not go to every restaurant in town. So all of you who loved the original Emmy’s and miss it dearly, tell us all about it in the comments. This review is about the food there now, the food we’ve eaten. It’s not comparing new food and old, because we can’t. So you’re stuck with what we’ve got to work with here now. And since as far as we know there is only one other real German restaurant in the state, a touristy place in Hot Springs that didn’t impress us, we’re awfully happy to be stuck with this joint in our fair city.

Speaking of which, after every Emmy’s meal we’ve eaten, we’ve practically been stuck in our chairs. This is a lot of food, and it’s usually excellent, in a thick-gravies-on-savory-meats-with-10-pounds-of-various-sides way. This is not, however, the restaurant to go to if you’re just feeling a mite peckish.

Emmy’s is open for lunch on weekdays, dinner six nights a week, and Sunday brunch. All are hearty and can get pricey if you’re not careful. (Tip: sign up for weekly e-mail coupons on their website for great un-advertised deals.) We’re just going to concern ourselves with dinner today.

We’ll start with our favorite appetizer, what we call the Block O’ Fried Cheese.

Emmy’s, we’re converted.

Fried sticks of breaded mozzarella with cold marinara? That’s so Applebee’s 1992. Emmy’s gives you a brick, nay, a veritable slab of Swiss cheese, battered and fried till molten. Then they serve it not with marinara or ranch dressing, but with two mustards: one honey-sweet and one spicy. Slice the cheese like you would a small loaf of bread and slather each gooey morsel with the mustard of your choice. Scrumptious.

We will say, however, that on the occasions we’ve had the fried cheese served with other hors d’oeuvres at an Emmy’s-hosted party, the fried cheese has been disappointing. This is because it’s no longer melty, just a dense lukewarm thing that has become Previously Fried Cheese. You know? So make sure it’s fresh and hot when you try it, or don’t try it at all.

Someday we hope to be able to pull this block of fried Swiss out of our pocket in a back alley of Fort Smith and say, in our best Crocodile Dundee voice, to an evildoer wielding a mozzarella stick, “You think that’s fried cheese? That’s not fried cheese. Now THIS is fried cheese!”

If you’re a sausage person, don’t miss the knackwurst and bratwurst appetizers. Delicious. The potato pancake appetizer at Emmy’s is also relatively light and very flavorful. Served with applesauce and sour cream. Excellent pre-meal choice.

Pancakes make people happy. Even when they’re German and made out of a vegetable.

Don’t forget the drinks! We enjoy sometimes having drinks and appetizers (or desserts) in the small, semi-private bar at Emmy’s.

Emmy’s has a nice wine list and a decent selection of imported beers. On principle, we stick to the German ones like this Riesling.

Now that your appetite is nice and whetted and your beverage and entree choices have been made, your friendly server will begin what we like to think of as Emmy’s Grand German Parade of Food. Because your entree comes with so many extras, there’s a non-stop arrival of small dishes of foods to your table. Seriously, whoever is the dishwasher at Emmy’s must have really screwed up in a past life.

First comes the complimentary German potato soup, a thin but creamy puree of potato. The first time anyone tries this soup, they stop and get that thinky look on their face. Usually, they’ll then try it again and once again get the furrowed brow as they try to figure out what this soup tastes like. Because it definitely:

1. Is unlike any other soup we’ve tasted.
2. Tastes very much like something.

Then one day we figured it out. Actually, our waitress told us what she thought it tasted like. Ready?

The brown gravy on the mashed potatoes at KFC.

And she was right! It does, sorta. But being fans of the brown gravy on the mashed potatoes at KFC, we like this soup anyway. Just now when we order KFC potatoes, we request them with “that German soup” on top.

German potato gravy/soup. Strange but not bad. And it comes in a very small portion.

Next up in the parade is the salad. You don’t order the salad, you just get it. And you get it the way it comes. Iceberg lettuce, one or two tomato slices, a ring or two of purple onion, sliced egg, Emmy’s special dill dressing, and parsley. No ranch dressing, no Thousand Island. Don’t even try. This is German salad with German dill dressing. Like it or don’t, this is your salad.

It’s an interesting little salad. Best if you get a taste of each thing in every bite.

Besides the soup and salad, you’ll get fresh pumpernickel rolls, and family-style sides of German red cabbage (sweet and tangy, very good complement to the entrees) and German-fried potatoes. This is in addition to any sides that already come with your entree, so before the meal even arrives your hunger has become but a dim memory.

This red cabbage that comes with your meal is not sauerkraut. It’s more like those red cinnamon apple rings. Except minus the cinnamon and the apples. Try it.

Mmmmm. Fried potatoes. Mmmmmm. These are good in any country.

But the entrees arrive, and boy, do they.

Tell us this isn’t fun to say: Schweinshaxe. As in Swine Shanks, if you were saying it whilst being completely smashed on good German beer. Germans make food like this pork shank sound much more interesting. Though honestly, this hunka-gravied-meat is huge enough and juicy enough to keep you interested for a long while. The menu tells us it’s braised in a mirepoix (hey, aint that a French word?) of carrots, onions, celery and leeks, then served with pork gravy and handmade gold potato dumplings. We think “hunka-gravied-meat” pretty much has it covered.

From our new book, Schweinshaxe for Dummies: “Tender pork. On the bone. In gravy.” All you really need to know about it. Not for the tiny-tummied.

Wouldn’t be a German restaurant without a few Schnitzels on the menu. Here you see J’ager Schnitzel, a hand-breaded veal cutlet with mushrooms, onions, and gravy. It’s sort of like a large meat pancake with mushroom syrup. Sort of. Except it’s actually infinitely better than that sounds. Anyway, it’s tasty and comes with a side of the tragically unattractive spåtzle (a type of popular German egg noodle) and gravy. All the Schnitzels are basically pork or veal variations on this theme.

J’ager Schnitzel and spåtzle. Don’t tell us Fort Smith doesn’t have variety.

Honestly, we’re a little weird. Mama always said so. Maybe that’s why why we like a dish as weird as Beef Rouladen Mit Kartoffel Klosse. Here’s the official description of this German favorite: Thinly sliced beef, spread with horseradish and mustard and stuffed with a filling of chopped bacon, onions, celery, spices, and dill pickle in the center. Topped with a delicious, rich gravy and served with handmade gold potato dumplings.

We’ll tell you right now. Almost any entree in Fort Smith that has a dill pickle in the center of it is going to get ordered by Fort Smith Eats. How can we resist that? A dill pickle in the center! Better than a Tootsie Pop.

The potato dumplings look like snowballs made of potatoes (below, right) and were the only thing we didn’t care for. Bland and strange. We know people that love them, but with a smorgasbord of other more dazzling dishes on the table already, they didn’t merit too much attention from us. We weren’t hurting for food.

Beef Rouladen. Gonna hafta trust us on this one. Yes, it’s a big brown log in a bowl of dark brown gravy and it’s strange that it is a dill pickle wrapped in beef, but it’s all manner of awesome.

From what we can tell, the most popular dish at Emmy’s German Restaurant isn’t even really German. It’s Swiss or French or Austrian or something. Emmy’s Chicken Cordon Bleu is a thing of legend around Fort Smith. Put aside any notions of those football-shaped processed chicken heaps that they serve in school cafeterias and out of the back of Schwann’s trucks. This Chicken Cordon Bleu is amazing.

Fresh chicken breasts are pounded into thin, pancake-shaped cutlets, breaded and perfectly sauteed, then stuffed with thin slices of ham and two cheeses. The entree comes with an optional fried egg on top, which we like. It’s great both ways. Tender, crispy, melty, and delicious.

Two chicken cutlets cradling thinly sliced ham and two kinds of cheese. Tell ya what. KFC’s Double Down sandwich ain’t got nothin’ on Emmy’s Chicken Cordon Bleu.

The be-egged version:

Two great tastes that taste great together. Chicken Cordon Bleu with Egg. Like many Emmy’s specialties, it tastes better than it looks.

Still got room for dessert? Call Guinness now and get yourself tested. But everyone should at least get a dessert to share or to-go. There are typically three options, and all are excellent and homemade. You’ve got your Apple Streudel, your Black Forest Torte and your German Chocolate Cake. Personally, we have a hard time choosing, but have a weakness for the kirsch-drenched torte. Chocolate and cherries are on up there with pickles in Fort Smith Eats’ book. This torte is the best combination of those flavors we’ve found in Fort Smith. And it tastes just as good the next morning for breakfast if you get it to go.

Do us a favor. If you like chocolate at all, don’t deprive yourself of this cake.

We can’t say whether the new Emmy’s is better than, equal to, or far less than the original, much-beloved Emmy’s in the tiny house on the North side was. We know people still talk about the old place that they ate at for many years growing up and its irreplaceable quaint atmosphere. But we’d place good money on the notion that this new iteration will be around for awhile and for a new generation of German food fans, the food will be well-remembered on its own terms.

Also because you won’t have to eat again for at least a month.

Achtung, baby.

Townie. That’s the word that comes to mind whenever we think of George’s. Know what we mean? Every town has at least one spot that is a no-frills, solid, dependable restaurant frequented at any given time by dozens of locals, the townies who gather ’round the pie case like it’s a watering hole.

If you’re lucky, the townie places also happen to have good food. Some towns have to make do with what they can get. The townie spots are there by tradition alone, where people just have to put up with the sort of food that gets served there. We always feel a little sorry for those towns.

Thank goodness Fort Smith has George’s. It’s a townie spot we’ve even been known to take the occasional visitor. Not someone who’s looking for elegance or exotic food or for a touristy experience. Hard Rock Cafe Fort Smith this ain’t. But someone who wants to have a good conversation over a great American meal without worrying about all the other stuff will get George’s. The restaurant is reliably clean and neat with food that is simple, tasty and filling. Oh, and affordable. And a constant, reliable menu. Is it such a mystery this place does a good business?

We took this picture because it is, for the record, the emptiest we’ve ever seen George’s large dining room. We’re not sure how many people fit in the restaurant, but it’s a bunch and they’re usually at least half full. Read on and find out the reasons for that.

Everyone’s got their favorite dishes at George’s. Just about the first thing they’ll tell you is their opinion on the fries (fanatic love or fanatic dislike). George’s makes a big deal of their fresh-cut fries. More precisely, they make a giant pile of them. On top of whatever else you ordered — literally, on top of it. But since they know you won’t be able to eat your sandwich or burger until you’ve excavated it from the massive french fry barricade surrounding it, they helpfully bring you another plate.

Another plate. For your fries.

(beat)

A regular-size plate.

For your fries.

That’s a lot of fries, folks.

Tackle! This poor burger didn’t stand a chance once Team Fry decided to pile on him. Note the double layer of plates. That’s how they all come out.

Wait a second. Is that a George’s Hickory Cheeseburger under there? We’ve gotta get those fries off of him right now! Open him up, boys, let him breathe, and let’s take a better look at what we’ve got here:

Ah, yes. George’s famed Hickory Burger. Hand-formed patty perfectly grilled. A little bit of mustard. Plenty of Cheddar cheese. A hefty slathering of tangy barbecue sauce. A few diced onions. Lightly grilled bun. Yeah, this is gonna be good even without the giant plate of fries just out of the picture.

Now we put the lid back on, and we have, ladies and gentlemen, one of the best burgers in Fort Smith:

George’s famed Hickory Burger. Messy? Heck yeah. Drool-inducing great? Hells yeah.

The Catsavis family who owns George’s has Greek roots, so besides the burgers, sandwiches, salads, soups and other American fare, there are a few bright spots of Greek food on the menu. The Greek salad comes vegetarian or with chicken, but it you ask for gyro meat added, they do it without a second thought. The Greek spaghetti with feta still tastes odd to us, so we stick with the Greek salad and the gyro.

Our Big Fat Greek Salad. One of our favorite Fort Smith salads: Gyro meat (ask for it, not chicken), red onion, green pepper, iceburg lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, capers, Kalamata olive, Greek seasonings and approximately 8 pounds of feta cheese. Served with a side of Italian dressing.

George’s gyro comes in pocket pita. It’s good, particularly since Greek food is so scarce in Fort Smith. If we ruled the world, however (one day!), we’d double the amount of gyro meat, put it on thick pita that your fold in half instead of in a pocket (it just gets messy), and add a big glob of tzatziki sauce. Since this is Fort Smith and FSE has not yet achieved world domination, we’re glad to get this option on the  menu.

Careful kids, don’t get too close. There’s a Gyro Monster living under that hill. Note the wreckage of the french fry trees he already destroyed and the onion bones scattered around his cave.

Other menu favorites include the chili, the country fried steak, the nachos, and every single burger on the menu (you must promise us you’ll try at least one). We also are a wintertime fan of the beans & cornbread — a big bowl ‘o pinto beans, simmered until it’s a thick, savory, hearty, wintery beanish, stewish, bowl ‘o yum. Served with a side of cornbread. Yep — traditional southern food at a townie spot with Greek roots. Love it. (The beans really are good. They’re filling, tasty & comforting).

We have an ongoing war with a possibly mentally unbalanced person we know about the integrity of George’s Philly Cheesesteak, and because we stick up for it in all its bell-peppery greatness, we order it a lot. Here’s why — take a look at this beaut:

Philly Cheesesteak. We’ve heard complaints from those militant Philly Cheesesteak purists who say it’s not made like it is in Philadelphia. Yeah. You know why? This ain’t Philadelphia! We’re in Fort Smith and we love George’s cheesesteaks, so lay off. Meet the Fort Smith Cheesesteak. We just renamed it.

We realize we just got you to the point you’re going to have to order at least three must-have entrees in one sitting. No apologies. And we’re not done with you yet. That’s because we haven’t even gotten to the real reason everyone’s always happy to go to George’s: the desserts.

George’s usually has several kinds of cakes and cobbler. They’re great, excellent, very good all round. We don’t get them.

Why?

Pie.

Yep, that’s us. We are Pie Fiends Beyond All Moderation, as you all know. If our pie love were an iPod, George’s would be one of the docks where we recharge.

Get the picture? Here’s an actual picture to help you understand our devotion. Believe it or not, this is homemade, as are all their desserts:

Chocolate. Peanut Butter. Pie. A thing of beauty may be a joy forever but this doesn’t last that long on our plate. It is wonderful.

Maybe all that whipped cream & syrup is just too much for you. Maybe you like your desserts simpler. Still have a chocolate craving but want to skip the excess richness? Here’s your answer. George’s Chocolate Meringue Pie is the best we’ve found. Firm-yet-flaky crust. Creamy cold chocolate filling, just the right amount of sweetness. Fluffy meringue topping, thick and toasted. Three textures, three flavors, a simple trinity of pie delight.

Chocolate Meringue Pie Perfection. Everything we wanted. Everything.

They have fruit pies, too. The crust on those things is to-die-for awesome. We wrote about George’s cherry pie in the last Fort Smith Eats Pie-Off, but here’s a picture of it again, just for reminder’s sake:

Cherry Pie at George’s. We love their fruit pies. The fruit means they’re healthy for you! Right? Please tell us we’re right.

So go to George’s, enjoy the stack of plates and mounds of fries and super food at prices that wouldn’t make your grandmama blink twice, and be sure to get the pie. Oh and tell them Fort Smith Eats sent ya.

We’re starting this post in a bad position, a defensive one. But here goes.

Dear Restaurants of the World & Greater Fort Smith Area: If you insist on having dim, romantic lighting, fine. But be aware you’re going to get dim, unromantic pictures. We’re sorry about this, really, but there’s not much we can do. Since it’s hard enough to whip out the camera at the dinner table without raising suspicions, we can’t exactly set up a photo studio with reflective panels and stand lighting. So, no matter how delicious and attractive your food may be, we can’t guarantee our Fort Smith Eats photos of it won’t turn out looking like they were art directed by someone more accustomed to making adult movies in their basement, circa 1971. We do our best, but there’s only so much we can do to eliminate that dark, shag-carpeted vibe.

That brings us to today’s restaurant, Rib Eye Steakhouse, which may indeed have been last decorated in 1971. We like Rib Eye, and we can tell you how to get there fine. What we may not be able to do is tell you how to get back to your table if you venture forth to the restroom.

The place is a labyrinth. You’ve got your open-style dining rooms in the front, but if you find yourself following the server back past the aisles of booths, up the ramp, around the corner and through the windy corridors in which they have hidden surprised diners into every nook and cranny, you’d best build some time into your evening itinerary for finding your way back out of the place. Take breadcrumbs. (They looked older to be sure, but we think in one dark corner we may have even stumbled on Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa having dinner).

This, for instance is one of the tables we found along the way, in a private walled-off booth/stall.

Thank the good Lord for the placemats and tableware, or this might look like a police interrogation room from a movie. Wait, is that Batman in the shadows? He's sneaky.

We truly don’t mean to dis on Rib Eye. It’s been a beloved Fort Smith institution for many years, and there are a number of excellent reasons for its longevity.

The fine paper products used in their placemats and napkins probably aren’t among them. Think about it. Placemats. How many fine dining establishments do you encounter with placemats anymore? And paper placemats aren’t even really placemats. They’re the things the kids draw on at the Fine Family Dining Restaurants of Our Childhood. But at Rib Eye, you get the idea the placemats are there to indicate this is a quality establishment.

Paper placemats and silverware in paper wrapping. Just you wait. In a few years, this will be retro-chic and all the chichi New York boutique eateries will be sporting these. Rib Eye's just ahead of the curve.

It amuses us too, in a fond, gee-whiz-bless-their-hearts sort of way, to see the dented mis-matched salt-and-pepper sets illuminated by the beauty of the mood-enhancing candlelight. Honestly, how much salt shaking does a person have to do to damage a salt shaker like this? There’s a story here.

There have been days we felt like this salt-shaker looks. Brutishly big, beaten over the head with a mallet, and unable to find a proper mate anywhere in sight.

We mentioned earlier that there were a number of excellent reasons for Rib Eye Steakhouse’s success. Towards the top of that list is probably the fried pickles. Yes, Fried Pickles. We hadn’t been to Rib Eye in years and years, but after we started the Fort Smith Eats conversation on Twitter, we kept having people tell us, unsolicited, that we had to go to Rib Eye and try the fried pickles. You know what? They were right. These babies were awesome.

Yeah, they're greasy. They're also expletive-inducing good. Worth a trip, just for these.

Entrees come with the choice of salad or, intriguingly, vegetable beef soup. We got both, just to show you.

Nothing to see here, folks. Go about your business. It's just a side salad.

Not the Soup du Jour, but specifically Vegetable Beef Soup is offered.

We never really thought about having vegetable beef soup before a steak, but it works. It must, since Rib Eye's been doing it for so many years.

We had a hunch, since the soup is the only one offered as a standard pre-meal alternative, that it was probably good. We were right. It’s not Fancy Soup. It’s not a soup you’d go to Rib Eye just to get. It’s good in that just good old basic vegetable beef soup kind of way.

This small cup of soup was surprisingly hearty. If you've only got a modest appetite, get the salad and save room for the steak. If you're hungry as a bear and in need of a cup of comfort, get the soup.

And at last, the main attraction at Rib Eye Steakhouse made its appearance on the Fort Smith Eats table. That would be the ribeye steak. Or, as we called it as our steak knife sliced through it with remarkable ease, butter. We have eaten many steaks, and many of them succulent and tempting slabs of beef from fine Fort Smith restaurants. We are not sure we have ever cut into a steak that was as tender as this particular ribeye.

Folks, forget everything we’ve said. We at Fort Smith Eats officially do not care a whit if they don’t follow L.A. style, if they make you eat in a cave, if they are salt-shaker-abusing felons. They can come plaster our house in paper placemats if they want. Because Rib Eye Steakhouse knows how to cook ribeye steaks. Damn fine ones, too.

Now there's a traditional steak dinner for the ages. Bonus points to us for scooting the candle closer to get some light in the picture. Sorry the orange twist looks nuclear.

We savored every bite. We might have even licked the steak knife. Heck, we might have licked the plate. Juicy steak good food. Mmm.

We’re not done yet. Though we fear you won’t believe us, that the square glob below was actually a particularly fine piece of Amaretto Bread Pudding.

We wouldn't want to put this Amaretto Bread Pudding on a billboard, but we'd order it again in a heartbeat.

Don’t take our word for the whole experience though. If you haven’t tried Rib Eye in years, or ever give it a try. If you have, then we’re preaching to the choir. So, whoever you are, give them some love and tell them we sent you. Be sure to take your appetite, your curiosity and possibly a light source and GPS.

In the meantime before our next Official Blog Post (which is coming SOON), here’s a quick — but YUMMY — Expert Pics post. (You may recall our previous Expert Pics posts: Snow Pics, Thanksgiving Pics, and our inaugural your-pics-our-blog post. )

We have said it before and we’ll say it again: You guys are the true experts, and we thank you for sharing your own yummy experiences. Keep the twipics coming!!

via @PLady100, Philly, Cali, and bagel rice tempura rolls from Shoguns.

via @missyknowsall, Pink Flamingo plate

via @OrangeBlossom00, El Lorito dinner

via @Rachel_Rodemann, Spicy tuna and Hollywood rolls at Fuji

via @LaurenHendricks, Doe's porterhouse

via @BrittBart, a plate at Landry's